i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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