I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize