Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
