...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
