Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
