I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
