We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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