atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
