playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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