you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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