Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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