I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
