operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
