My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
