is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
