I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
