and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
