its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
