her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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