Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
