even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
my shit smells like andre
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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