Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
