You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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