Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
