how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
