im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
