It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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