so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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