so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
