I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
