Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
