I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
