Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize