i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
