Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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