I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I want a musical about memes.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize