You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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