i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
