WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
