I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize