It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
