I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
