hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
