How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
