Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
