why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We need to get me chipped asap
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
