operation harelip BJ is a go
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
did you just send me my own nude
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
