just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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