that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just had sex on a roof
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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