There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
