I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
