What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
