cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
