i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
