I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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