We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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