Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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