Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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