If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She announced her abortion via fbk
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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