It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize