i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
