Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
