I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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