Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
